“So there was good ol’ #82, Jason Witten, late afternoon sunshine glaring in his eyes – again – as he tried in vain to make a catch at AT&T Stadium, this time late in Sunday’s loss to Aaron Rodger’s Green Bay Packers. Sound familiar? Yeah, it does to us too. We’ve seen this scene before, and yet the question still lingers – why won’t the Cowboys just close those damn curtains for the late afternoon games? They’ve been drawn for concerts and other sporting events, so why, oh why is Jerry Jones and his crew so insistent on leaving them open for Cowboys games?
In an interview with 105.3 The Fan last year after Witten (again) had sun issues late in a loss to the Giants, Cowboys VP Stephen Jones said, “In sports that happens, whether it’s baseball catching fly balls, whether it’s our game, you play in the elements. We always try to make AT&T Stadium better each and every year.” (although nothing has changed since this statement a year ago). “And if we see the right solution then we’ll certainly look at it. But that’s a part of our game, you play the game in the elements.”
Well Stephen that makes all the sense of bringing a knife to a gunfight. News flash Cowboys braintrust, you don’t have an outdoor venue. Your team plays inside….inside the most expensive and extravagant sports venue ever built. Now it does have a retractable roof, although it’s been so long since it’s been opened it’s almost forgotten. In fact, I doubt we’ll ever see that silly hole ever opened again. So in a nutshell you have an completely encased, self-contained, sealed indoor stadium – with element issues. Does that make sense to anyone besides the Jones family who seem almost defiant to the idea of addressing easily addressed sun issues?
It sure doesn’t to us, so like we always do at The Feathered Bull, we dug deeper, and found some answers that many in Cowboys Nation might find startling. An inside source has shared what he believes to be the real reason the Jones family “lets the sun shine” whenever they can at AT&T. And the reason centers around Jerry Jr.
According to our source, it all ties back to the HBO original series True Blood, which premiered on Sept. 7, 2008. Just 9 months before George Strait christened “Jerry World” with his opening night concert. 
“You see Jerry Jr. has always been real impressionable,” said our source, “And certain things just freak him out. Like monsters. You know – werewolves, zombies, vampires. In fact Jerry Sr. and Jean don’t let him watch scary movies any more. But he watched that first season of True Blood and it, well, it stayed with him. Or I guess I should say the vampires did.”
So what does all this have to do with NFL players blindly staring into bright sunlight on Sunday in Arlington? Everything, according to our source.
“Jerry Jr. has been on high alert for vamps ever since he watched that show, and he started thinking anyone might have fangs,” confided our source, “So he actually suggested that all the Cowboys players be tested and see if they were vamp or human. But Stephen told him there was no way the NFL players’ association would allow it. So Junior started thinking of ways to weed them out himself.
Which leads us to our AT&T sunlight questions.
“To make Junior feel like his ideas were being validated, Jerry Sr. told him he’d make sure everyone on the team gets put in direct sunlight a couple times a year,” our source continued, “And so he does.”
Our source also told us that the NFL Commissioner’s office has questioned the Cowboys about the situation, but it seems that Roger Goodell is satisfied with Jones’ reasons for keeping the sun “in.” “From what I’ve been told,” said our source, “Roger is as big of a believer in vampires as Jerry Jr. is, if not more. In fact he’s pretty sure NBA commissioner Adam Silver and NHL head man Gary Bettman are night walkers themselves.” 
“Jerry Jr. also asked his dad for a retractable roof to be installed in the new offices in Frisco as well, just to make sure all front office employees could be vetted too, but as of now that hasn’t happened. But there are a TON of sharpened number 2 pencils in each every room there, I guess in case a quick 
staking is needed.”
Well at least we know one thing from all this, Jason Witten is obviously fang-less or he would have burst into flames on several occasions.
For his part, Jerry skirted the issue (as only Jerry can) when asked about Junior’s fear of the un-dead. “Probably if you’re going to have curtains and shades, you’re probably gonna have them throughout the game,” Jones said. “And things that are in the sun will, or will not be shaded. But we’ve been playing in AT&T for many years now, and for the most part it serves its purpose well, but as far as other things being talked about as fear, or fear of things, that will stay behind as we move forward.
